Sorry. I can't help it. I keep getting good news in the mist of all this gloom. All is healing by itself. No more interventions needed. All drains and tubes are out of me now. No antibiotics either. Time for vitamins only. And I just made an appointment with a physical therapist so I can make my body strong once more. (The thought of running a half-marathon again keeps nudging me, even though I am about to finish the longest race of my life.) So I am hopeful, and stubborned, and daring. I am happy.
But people are looking at me, like: "Do you know what just happened? What is wrong with you?!" And all I'll say is: I didn't vote for him. I didn't sign up for a lot of things lately. The current has been going against me and everything I believe in for a while. And I've lost my breath more times than I care to confess. Giving up looks like an option, until it is not. And you just hold on to your core, because it is all you have left. And you hold on to yourself, because it's all you know. You can't help but be yourself, and what you believe, and what you stand for. Specially when you realize it's still beating after all it has been through. Amazing!
Like that yellow flower squeezing out of the cracked pavement. Why bother, right? But it not only grows, it glows. Screaming yellow in your peripheral vision. Gray all around it.
So, I got the ball and I am heading to the playground. Do you wanna come and play with me?